Brace the pool, guard the pets: Boys at play
Columnist
As my boys get older, I’ve had to accept the reality that Mom is no longer their preferred playmate. Oh, they still love me and they still love to spend time with me, but given a choice between Mom and their friends for an afternoon’s play, the friends will win, hands-down.
So we’re at the stage where they want friends to come over, and that’s happening quite a bit this summer. It’s been a fun and entertaining experience, but I’m learning some basic rules along the way, some dos and don’ts I’ll share for those moms who are just beginning to realize they will not be the Number One Playmate for much longer.
By the way, these rules apply to boys only. I consider little girls to be a wonderful but basically alien species to my world, where two little boys — and a third one en route — have shaped my thinking.
The dos and don’ts of having boys over to play: When you take the boys down to the river or the creek to look for rocks or play in the sand, do not promise their mothers that they are not going to get in the water. They will get in the water, even if it takes an on-purpose accident, so you might as well not even try to go there. Do accept that there will always be one child in the bunch that you cannot feed. No matter how many varieties of lunch meat, bread, cookies, soft drinks you buy, there will be at least one child who will eat nothing that you have in the house. There is one exception to this rule: popcorn. You can always feed them popcorn. Do not try to referee every little conflict. The wonderful thing about boys is that their fights blow over quickly. They fuss, they roll around on the ground, they’re done, they forget about it.
Assume the boys will be grimy and muddy by the end of the day. If you plan to take them anywhere public at that time, ask their parents to send along a change of clothes. In fact, ask them to send a change of clothes anyway, especially if said parents are particular about the condition of the upholstery in their vehicles.
Do reinforce your wading pool with steel buffers.
Do not assume that any group of boys will think with the same rational process that any one of them might use if they were on their own.
Boys require explicit instruction, so do state your instructions clearly, loudly and in detail: “Do not chase the cat with the squirt gun.” “Please wash your hands with soap and water before eating your snack.” “Do wash the mud off your feet with the hose outside the house before entering.” “Do not put the $60 remote-control truck in the wading pool to find out if it can drive underwater — not even if my son says it’s OK.”
Do warn any nearby neighbors that the screams they will hear do not indicate torture, murder or mayhem at your home; rather they will be the sounds of fun. If you host very young boys — age 3 and under, the age where they like to use the bathroom outside — do warn them strongly that they should not aim toward the pasture and its electric fence.
If you plan on the boys playing outside, do accept that they will choose to spend the day in your sons’ room. And if it is raining outside, or you plan indoor activities, accept that they will want to go out, no matter the weather.
If you are a planner, you must also accept that your plans will go awry. Sometimes the wisest course is to just let the boys play without your suggestions. You’ll be surprised at how much fun they can invent. You may not be able to relax during this period, but do sit back and enjoy the show. Boys are full of energy, life and imagination, and we can learn a lot about life from watching them play.
Kathy M.N. Ross is a former news editor and reporter for The Mountaineer. She can be reached at kathymross@bellsouth.net.
